be the change

A few years ago, I felt inspired to share my story in hopes to help and inspire anyone out there who may have felt like they were losing hope or struggling after a tragic loss. This topic hits very close to home for me and has been extremely hard to express my true feelings over the years, but recently I have felt this tugging on my heart yet again and I cannot ignore it. So, in hopes of doing all that I can to be there and help make a difference, I wish to share some further thoughts and be as open and vulnerable as I can to let others know it’s okay to do the same.

Addiction has always been a very sensitive topic for me, especially over the last ten years. It has affected my life in more ways than I think I am even aware, and it’s hard for me to hold back my emotions when it’s brought up. Over the past few months I have been made more aware of the global effort known as “National Overdose Day” to bring attention to the growing grasp addiction and overdose have on the human race. Every year, this day focused on overdose awareness takes place on August 31^st, which ironically is my beautiful mother’s birthday, who sadly passed away from overdose ten years ago. As I was driving one day and was pondering about all of this, I had the overwhelming feeling that I needed to join the cause to spread awareness, to do good, and maybe be someone to make a difference when it comes to such a heart wrenching topic for so many. 

For anyone that might not be aware of my story, I will share just a little, not with the intention to draw any attention to myself, but to paint a picture of how devastating and painful addiction and overdose can be for all involved. I grew up in a happy home, with parents that loved me dearly and three older brothers who were full of life and energy. We had our problems, as every family does, but life was good. Among all the happy times we spent at baseball games, family vacations, and holidays together there were still some equally rough days in between. Tragedy struck my family in June of 2008 when my father, after a long fight with addiction, took his own life with the thought that we would be better off without him. As you can imagine, this shook our family to the core and sent us down a long and painful path I’m not sure any of us could have ever been ready for. My dear mother, who was a ray of light her whole life, was devastated beyond belief. She loved my dad with a passion most would never understand and she couldn’t seem to get through the pain. Only two short months after the passing of my father, my mom had an accidental overdose from prescription medications and alcohol. She passed away a few days later in the hospital. At the age of 13 I was exposed to things I hope no one at that age should ever have to see, and I witnessed first-hand the evil and deceiving nature of addiction without the ability to do anything to stop it. Addiction is also something that I have seen affect my siblings, other family members, and friends throughout my life.

Seeing how drugs had so poorly effected my family and losing both parents at such a young age I decided then that I would never allow myself to go down that path. Although I don’t know what it’s like to be in the shoes of someone who struggles with drug addiction, I do know what it’s like to see the ones you love most lose their lives/fight for their lives to such a sad and destructive path. And it breaks my heart to think that there might be people out there who have lost their loved ones and think they will never be able to climb out of the sad, depressing, and empty hole that something like this could place them in. 

            Overdose isn’t just something that happens every once in a while.  Combined with substance abuse, it is something that affects all of us in different ways every single day. Just last year in 2017, over 72,000 people died in the United States from an overdose with almost 30,000 of those deaths being from opioids. Statistics show that the year 2017 was the very highest it’s ever been for overdose rates. That means that 8 people die every hour from some sort of overdose, which results in millions of individuals who are left to mourn the losses of the people they loved. It’s no secret that this issue is growing at a shocking rate and we all know it’s a real problem, but how often are we brushing it under the rug? How often do we hear of someone losing their life to overdose and think “Oh no, that’s so sad!” but then forget about it 30 seconds later? How often do we ignore our promptings to reach out to someone we know who is struggling with addiction and let them know we care? I think we all could agree something needs to change. 

            Because this is a problem that affects us all in one way or another, being aware is the first step towards progress. So, because it’s so clear this is a problem and we are all very aware something needs to be done, the crucial question we face is; what can we do to make the difference? I think about this daily and want so badly to do whatever I can to help whoever I can. I have realized that there is no one answer that is the same for us all. The fact of the matter is it’s personal, what works for one might not be as successful for another. But can you imagine for just a split second what the world, or your city, or even your family would be like if we all made more of an effort? If we all committed to ourselves to find a small way to impact another. The tragedy can be avoided and it’s time for us all to step up, to do more than we’ve done and open our eyes to the possibilities of what could be.                         

            For a long time, it has been difficult for me to share the details about my losses because of the stigma that I knew would be labeled on my family if they knew the truth. I wanted people to know how amazing my parents were and to know them for the parents who taught their children to love, to be kind, and compassionate to others. I didn’t want people thinking that my parent’s struggles were who they were, because that’s not who they were. People are so quick to judge others when really, they have no idea what it’s like to be in that person’s shoes and the things they are going through. I have then come to realize that it’s okay to share. That it’s okay to be vulnerable and transparent and with that maybe it will be my story that helps one person to have hope whether it’s someone struggling with addiction, or someone who has lost a family member to the tragic event of overdose.  

            The truth is, it’s time to make a change, it’s time to make a difference, it's time to help, and there is no better time to start than now. I believe that we all have to power to make a difference in each other’s lives. I have been blessed with an incredible family who loves and supports me in all that I do. My parents were good people. Yes, they struggled with addiction, but that does not define them. Drug addiction does not define anyone. As their daughter, my hope and prayer is that we can remember them and their story and use our strength to give hope and encouragement to others. So may we honor and remember them and the lives of all those who we have lost to addiction and overdose by loving deeper, caring more, offering a helping hand, sharing our stories, and finding personal peace. Let's be the change.